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Future GOP Employers: My name is Almanzo Kauffman, and I have been in and out of politics since 2001, mostly as a freelance writer and content creator, but also as a versatile campaign aide. No, I do not want to run your campaign, and no, I do not want to do your polling, though I am experienced in both. However, I can create the best talking points, speeches, and content while also offering editing services and more. I would prefer to work for an organization that will utilize all of my talents through a staff position, and if possible, I would prefer some of that work to be remote. Cisco’s WebEx is the best software for remote meetings, far better than Zoom. I have a B.S. in Theatre and Political Science from Central Michigan University and an M.A. in Writing from DePaul University in Chicago, IL. When I lived in Illinois, I worked against then Governor Rod Blagojevich and Mayor Richard M. Daley on numerous occasions while also hobnobbing with then State Sen. Barack Obama’s campaign staff, who I met through a Republican lobbyist in Springfield. Obama then ran for U.S. Senate, and the rest is history—including his unseen hand in the Biden administration. In my time in Chicago, I observed machine politics, and I witnessed the corruption firsthand. Corruption is gross. My skills are what make me a versatile staff member. I am a retired professional actor, and I have taught acting professionally and academically. Therefore, I can assure you that most Republicans need a lot of work learning how to present themselves on the campaign trail and in front of a camera. I can teach that to a lot of people in GOP politics. Image consultants can teach makeovers: I can teach Republicans how to do it naturally on the fly. More importantly for many organizations, I am also a master rhetorician. I create arguments and understand how to persuade and move any audience. Being well-practiced in using rhetoric professionally and teaching it academically, I can also teach others how to make better, stronger, more persuasive arguments, which is where most political battles are won or lost. I can defeat literally any talking point from the Left, be it on climate change, taxation, or inflationary spending. Humor and timing is the easiest way to defeat their political lies and malfeasance. What I want from a future employer is simple: I want to use all of my talents to promote conservative ideals, and I want an organization that will support me when I run for office from Northern Michigan. Priority will be given to Michigan politics, but for the right organization, I am willing and free to move at the end of the current academic year. Let’s go, Brandon. Sincerely, Almanzo Kauffman
